


Changes

by Mcwarr



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cute Niall, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Harry, Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, Soldier Harry, War, coming home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:38:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcwarr/pseuds/Mcwarr
Summary: He loved Harry more than the Earth itself when he left and none of that has changed, but Harry has.  Harry has changed and it freaks Niall out because he still feels like the same boy that was just crying at the airport two years prior, sending his boyfriend off to fight a war he knew nothing about.OR Harry comes home from the war, but (almost) everything has changed





	

**Author's Note:**

> prompted from my tumblr: narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

Niall had never been more nervous in his entire life. 

He was standing in the airport, on top of a bench because everyone around him was much taller and they were crowding him and he could barely breathe but he had to stay, had to wait. 

His eyes were sharper than a hawk’s at this point, scanning the exit doors like they hold all of the secrets to life, but nobody’s exiting yet. 

There were so many people with him, men and women and children alike all awaiting that one person to walk through that door and instantly make their world light back up again. He sympathized with all of them, buzzing with anticipation and anxiety, but can’t help but wish this part were over. He wasn’t even that nervous on his first date with Harry.

It had taken a couple of minutes, but finally the doors opened and men and women start shuffling out of the doors, all wearing the same familiar uniforms. The room was basically erupting by that point, voices and screams and laughter echoing throughout the entire establishment but Niall blocked all of it out as best he could. He knew if he didn’t then he’d be having a panic attack within seconds. The blonde started to get jumpier as the seconds tick by as he didn’t recognize any of the faces passing by, but then finally, there’s a feather-light touch on his hip and he turns to see a big, muscled, giant version of his boyfriend standing behind him with a heavenly smile on his face and Niall jumps into his arms, flinging his own around the older boy’s neck and digging his face into the familiar crook of his shoulder. 

“Holy shit, Harry, oh my god.” He gasped, just loud enough that the man holding him heard and he feels Harry’s arms tighten around his waist, a low chuckle resinating in his ears and replaying itself over and over again as Niall tries to to take this moment in. He pulls back just for a second to grasp Harry’s face in his own hands and drink in those familiar, beautiful green eyes that although may be older, more seasoned versions of the old ones, are still recognizable and so very _real._

“I love you so much, oh my god.” Niall had said, tears gathering in his eyes as he did so and he focuses on the curve of Harry’s smile, the dimples in his cheeks and the sturdy but gentle feeling of his arm around the small of Niall’s back. 

Niall hugged his boyfriend once more, giggling even harder through his tears as Harry whispered, “I missed you, Ni” 

Then the emotion in the room began to die down, and people begin leaving. Niall offers to carry Harry’s bag but the older man just laughs, shaking his head at Niall before gripping Niall’s hand in his own and dragging him out of the room. Niall tries to keep a conversation going, talking about Louis and Liam and how they’ve been but the conversation dies pretty quickly. 

It’s unexpected, how quickly the day went downhill.

The car ride is blatantly awkward and there’s a tension between the two that Niall hadn’t anticipated. Of course, he wasn’t stupid enough to believe that Harry would come home and everything would return to normal, but he didn’t even entertain the fact that it would feel so _different._

But it is different and Harry is different and Niall can feel his nerves resurfacing as if they had never left in the first place. Before, the blonde hadn’t really had the right mind to register Harry’s physical appearance further than the fact that his hair was cropped and his biceps were huge. Now that Niall has time to stare openly the divergences between Harry’s younger self and his current self are quite obvious. 

Harry’s skin is tan and course, and his hand feels much larger and more rough against Niall’s own. There’s a tension that runs across the brunette’s broad, muscled shoulders that wasn’t there the day he left and his face has lines that Niall had never before seen. The slight chub that used to hang off of Harry’s stomach and thighs has been carved away, and Niall can tell even through his uniform that he’s much more toned than he used to be.

It leaves Niall uneasy. 

He loved Harry more than the Earth itself when he left and none of that has changed, but Harry _has._ Harry _has_ changed and it freaks Niall out because he still feels like the same boy that was just crying at the airport two years prior, sending his boyfriend off to fight a war he knew nothing about. He was still the little blonde goofball that plays too much footie for someone with a hurt knee and laughs a little bit too loudly and still has that little bit of chub around his belly. 

He hasn’t changed at all but Harry has and what if that means Harry doesn’t love him anymore?

By the time they get to the flat, the awkward silence has been filled by Niall’s anxiety but neither is sure how to react to it. Niall knows that Harry knows he’s freaking out. It’s clear that he knows because Niall can recognize that familiar way that Harry’s eyebrows are pressing together and his mouth is thinned out just as it used to be, but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Home sweet home.” Niall murmurs, linking his fingers with Harry’s in an attempt to make it seem as natural as possible. Harry is quiet for a minute, allowing his eyes to roam around the apartment, which really hasn’t changed too much since Harry was last there, save for a couple of household items and a pot plant here or there. 

Once again, the silence burns up the room and Niall can feel his hand shaking in Harry’s. 

“So… uh, it’s kinda late but if you want to, like, order pizza or something we can? Or we could watch a movie, or something?” Niall rambles off and he cringes as he feels like he’s reciting some kind of rehearsed script, but doesn’t try and fix his words. He feels so uncomfortable and usually Harry would pick up on this and do something but he’s not doing anything- he’s barely even looking at Niall. 

Harry’s eyes drift over to Niall as if he’s just now recognizing his existence and nods his head, putting something that feels like hope into Niall’s heart until he opens his mouth, replying softly, “Think I’ll just head up to bed.” 

And his voice is deep and gravelly, even more so than Niall recognized at the airport, but that doesn’t fix the sting of rejection that settles into Niall’s chest. The blonde’s brain is rolling his eyes at him, _‘he’s been deployed for two years straight, can you blame the man for wanting to sleep in his own bed?’_ and his heart agrees it’s just- different. 

Nevertheless, Niall prevails, unwilling to let this day be ruined by what’s probably his own made-up drama. “Yeah, of course, let me help you settle in and-”

“That’s okay, Niall, I can handle it.” Harry smiles, but Niall’s heart drops even lower and confusion settles in even more so. “Night,” Harry whispers, dropping a lasting kiss on Niall’s cheek but it feels like nothing more than pity and fallacy. He detaches their fingers gracefully, but Niall’s hand drops against his side like it’s dead weight.

And Harry goes down the hall without a single look back, carrying his huge bag like it weighed nothing and closing their bedroom door with a resounding click. 

That night, Niall eats dinner alone and curls up on the couch before crying his eyes out because he had no idea how to deal with the situation that he was in.

It wasn’t like he expected Harry to come home and for them to instantly regain their connection and for everything to be just as it always was but… he kind of had expected that. He had spent that last week watching video upon video of all of these soldiers returning home and instantly sweeping up their children, girlfriends or even dogs into huge embraces and speaking to them as if nothing had changed. And suddenly he was in the same position and everything had changed. And of course he can’t blame Harry because it’s not his fault that Niall had unrealistic expectations and it’s not his fault that going off to serve his country had changed him and it’s not his fault that Niall was now sobbing by himself. 

He spent that night on the couch, falling asleep to old reruns of a TV show he and Harry used to watch together while tears prickled at his eyes. 

* * * *

Niall eventually falls asleep but doesn’t stay like that for long. He wakes up in the middle of the night with a sore throat and heavy eyes- a telltale sign that he cried himself to sleep.

He pries his eyes open and rubs at them, letting out a soft groan as he does so, before looking at the room around him and letting out a loud shout as he sees a shadowy figure looming above him. 

He lets out an admittedly high-pitched screech, throwing his hands out in front of him as if they’d help defend him until someone came to his rescue. He’s wrists are grabbed in second that he throws them out and all of a sudden, someone’s shushing his yells.

“Niall, it’s just me, calm down, it’s just me.” Harry soothes, bringing Niall’s arms down to the couch and Niall blinks, trying to get his eyes to adjust. 

“Shit, Harry,” Niall says, surprising the both of them when he latches his arms around Harry’s neck. “I forgot you were here, I thought…” He trails off, shaking his head. He thought it was a weird mix between a dream and a nightmare. Both the best and worst thing happening in one dream- Harry coming home and Harry absolutely hating him. 

Harry shakes his head against Niall’s, whispering, “I know, I’m sorry. I was just worried because you never came to bed.” He says softly and Niall’s sleep-deprived brain goes into overload as confusion sweeps over him.

“I didn’t- I thought you- I didn’t know if you wanted me to. You know, sleep in there- with you.” He stutters, and Harry pulls him back by the shoulders, eyes wide and concerned. 

“Baby,” He whispers softly for the first time since he got home and in the silent darkness of their home it sounds so, so right the word alone brings Niall to tears. “Baby, baby, I want you with me.” He says and brings Niall close once more, hugging his shoulders tightly and Niall never wants it to be over. “This is hard, but we’ll be okay.” He says and Niall nods in agreement over and over again, trying to stop his tears and stop being so weak but he can’t help it. Begins in Harry’s arms again does something that makes him feel so much better.

So he follows Harry into the bedroom and falls asleep cuddled up against Harry’s chest, feeling like everything was just a second away from falling apart.

* * * *

The following days are rough.

Although Niall was grateful for the small heart to heart that he had with Harry on that first night, it really didn’t change much. Harry was still distant and didn’t seem to want to do anything with Niall- or anybody for that matter. 

“Harry, come on, I know the past days have been hard, but Louis and Liam really want to see you.” Niall pleads to his boyfriend who’s sitting on the couch stoically, watching the muted television expressionlessly. Louis and Liam were really the couple’s only family- the only people that Niall regularly met up with and talked to while Harry was gone. Both Niall and Harry came from unconventional families- Harry growing up an orphan and Niall having not spoken to either of his parents since he was sixteen. 

Harry gives Niall a dark look. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I? You told them we’d meet with them,” He says, an annoyed, angry tone lingering in his voice.

Niall blinks, taken aback by Harry’s words. “You don’t have to go, Harry,” He says softly, “ I didn’t know you wouldn’t want to.” 

“Obviously we’re going to go if you told them we would. Let’s go.” He says with just as much frustration as before, getting up and turning off the TV as he heads towards the door. 

Niall follows silently, confusion being the only emotion he could feel. 

They get to the diner and everything is still awkward. 

That seems to be a common theme with interactions with Harry ever since he returned.

Liam and Lou hug Harry in the way he used to like to be hugged, full of affection and boarder-line inappropriateness, but Harry just pats them back with a fake smile.

That’s were the suspicion between the opposing boys begins. Both of them start questioning Harry and Niall about Harry’s first few days back and their comments are all chock full of sexual innuendos, which makes Niall laugh over the hurt and embarrassment that Harry hasn’t even kissed him yet. 

Liam and Louis are like brothers, and they’re certainly not stupid, they pick up on the tension between the couple and Louis even pulls Niall aside, asking, “Mate, you alright? Why’re your eyes so red?” 

Niall tries to shrug him off, but Louis knows better. 

Harry isn’t rude by any means, never usually is, but his smiles are so obviously fake that Niall can’t bare to look at him, and the conversation lulls so much to the point that Liam and Louis end up talking about footie and other stuff that Harry doesn’t have to correspond to. After that, Harry stays silent and no one pushes him. 

Liam and Louis don’t hug Harry afterward, and Harry doesn’t even glance in their direction as Niall hugs each of them briefly before giving them a grimace and walking away, still keeping his distance from Harry. 

“Well, I hope you’re happy now.” Harry says finally as they return home and Niall sighs, tired even though it’s barely half nine. 

“What does that even mean? You know I’m not happy.” Niall says.

Harry gives him another unimpressed look. “I did what you wanted, went and saw Liam and Louis. You should be happy, getting your way and all that.”

Niall groans, voice picking up as his anger escalates, “Harry, I’m sorry that I want to encourage you to do things with the people who love you? Our family? Louis and Liam just wanted to see the person that they’ve been worrying about and fussing over for two years. They just wanted to make sure that their brother was still breathing. But tonight was shit. You barely even spoke to them just like you’ve barely spoken to me and it’s absolute shit! I’m not happy, Harry, how could I be when you barely even talk to me?”

Niall’s frustration seems to only fuel Harry’s anger. He throws his jacket off and begins stomping towards their bedroom as he shouts, “I don’t know why you’re acting like it’s my fault that I’m not the same person I was two years ago. Everybody changes, Niall, you have too!”

Niall, not willing to back down just yet, grabs Harry’s arm, “I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, Harry! And I know people change, I’m not an idiot, I just thought that you would still be my Harry!” Niall yells defensively.

“Well, you shouldn’t have thought that! You shouldn’t have expected for everything to be the same! What, did you think that going off to war and risking my life daily wasn’t going to change me? I didn’t think you were that dumb, Niall.” Harry yells right back, turning on his heel the moment Niall lays a hand on him and getting right in his face, and the blonde can feel his face getting hot at Harry’s accusation.

“I didn’t think that and I’m not stupid! I just.. I thought that we would at least still talk! I thought you’d still like me a little bit!” Niall screams and Harry rolls his eyes.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous. Come talk to me when you figure out that not everything has to do with you, Niall.” 

Niall clenches his fists, lowering his voice as he responds, “I’m just trying to help you, Harry! What, do you want to see someone? a counselor or something? 

Harry lets out a low, emotionless laugh, “That’s rich, coming from the guy who can barely walk into a crowded room without having a fucking panic attack.” He says, malice dripping off his words and Niall closes his eyes at the insult.

When he opens his eyes once more he can tell that Harry instantly regretted his words but he doesn’t want to hear the apology. 

He sits on the couch with a huff, trying to convince himself that crying won’t solve anything, despite the stinging he can feel behind his eyes. “I hate this. I hate this, I hate this.” He whispers, almost to himself, but he knows Harry can hear. 

“Harry…” Niall sighs, pressing his palms against his aching eyes in a last-ditch effort to appease the migraine that he felt coming, “I know that I may never understand what happened over there, or how you feel, but I’m willing to try, alright?” He says, voice cracking as he does so. “I’m wiling to try because I love you and I have ever since we met. That hasn’t changed.”

There’s a silence, Niall can tell that Harry’s thinking long and hard about something because he’s usually very quick to act on these sorts of things- their fights. Harry’s almost always the type to respond first and apologize later.

But now is different. Maybe because that Harry had changed. Maybe that Harry had matured.

Harry lets out a loud sigh, looking into Niall’s tear streaked face with his own watery eyes. “Niall,” He says, drawn out and sad. “I’m sorry.” He says and Niall repeats his words. 

Harry kneels between Niall’s legs and grips his wrists, pulling them away from his face as he begins, “Things are different now. You’re different now. I’m different now. _We’re_ going to be different now but… I don’t think that’s a bad thing, Ni. A lot of things have changed but through these past two years I have always loved you. A lot of things have changed and a lot more will change in the next few years but I will always love you, Niall.” Harry breathes, voice trembling with emotion as he grins Niall’s arms in his hands, forcing the blonde to look him in the eyes. “You were the only thing that got me past the past two years. You’re my world, Niall, and that will never change.” He says and Niall wastes no time gripping Harry’s neck with his hand and pulling him into a passionate kiss. 

Their lips meet with a conviction, and Niall’s fingers thread themselves through the newly short hair at the base of Harry’s neck. Harry’s hands travel down Niall’s lower back, pushing his shirt up and simultaneously grabbing onto Niall’s arse through his jeans. 

They make it to the bedroom seamlessly, just like they used to in their usual routine. They make it to the bed and Harry’s quick to pull off his jeans. He tugs off his shirt and goes goes to do the same to Niall but the blonde shakes his head. “Shit, Harry…” He mutters, eyes roaming down the brunette’s chiseled body, which is now tanned and scattered with scars and stitches among some new tattoos Niall had yet to become acquainted with. 

Harry looks down and grabs for his shirt subconsciously, “Sorry, sorry, I completely forgot-” He begins to tug his shirt back on only for Niall to snatch it away and throw it to the opposite side of the room. He pushes Harry to sit on the side of the bed before he straddles his boyfriend’s thighs, hands running across the marks gently, making the brunette shiver. 

“You’re so gorgeous.” Niall comments, “I can’t wait to memorize these, too.” He says, tracing the new black lines as he sucks on Harry’s neck and jaw lovingly.

Harry recuperates the notion, tugging Niall’s shirt off and digging his nose into the crook of Niall’s neck, taking in his scent before biting into the untouched, porcelain skin that he had missed so much. “Ni, baby,” He moans, bucking up towards Niall’s arse and tugging at Niall’s jeans but the blonde shakes his head once more, forcing himself away from Harry and out of his lap. 

“No, no… let me do something for you, soldier.” He murmurs through fluttering eyelashes as he sinks to his knees in front of Harry. 

Harry lets out a breath in a huge huff, shaking his head in mesmerization as Niall begins to slowly kitten lick at his cock. “Shit, Niall-” He curses, grabbing at Niall’s hair even though he’s barely done anything yet. 

He can tell Niall enjoys his reaction, though, because he gives Harry a cheeky wink before placing his mouth around the entire tip on his dick, just barely sucking but doing enough that Harry’s already completely hard. “Fuck, baby, take it further, I know you can.” 

Niall raises an eyebrow and Harry knows exactly what he wants. With a slight smirk, Harry tightens his grip on Niall’s hair, slowly inching Niall’s head down his dick centimeter by centimeter. “You think I haven’t been dreaming about this the entire time I’ve been away? Having your pretty little mouth around me again after all this time. Baby, you’re all I ever thought about.” He praises and Niall preens at the attention, sticking a hand down his own pants and stroking himself as he gets Harry off. 

It doesn’t take Harry long to start cumming- he wasn’t lying when he said that he’d been thinking about this for the past two years. 

Niall tries to tell Harry that he doesn’t need to help him get off, but Harry’s a gentleman. Plus, getting Niall off has always been a personal pleasure of Harry’s.

Pulling Niall’s jeans halfway down, Harry doesn’t hesitate in gripping his hardened cock and slowly jerking him off, cooing in his ear about how good he was to Harry and how much he’d missed the younger boy. It doesn’t take much more than Harry’s deep, raspy voice praising him and a large, rough hand against his dick to get him off, and he soon releases against his own stomach as Harry kisses him through it. “I love you so much, baby.” The older whispers, pressing a soft kiss against Niall’s cheek and then forehead before getting up to clean the two of them off. 

And that night they fall asleep in the same bed, this time not feeling like everything is going to fall apart. 

It’s not everything it used to be but Niall thinks that maybe that’s alright. Maybe it will never be what it used to be but hopefully it will be something completely different, completely changed, and completely better.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY if i missed anything in the prompt I have absolutely no idea what Dunkirk is even really about (besides Harry singing and war) and idk what dp is SOZ
> 
> Also super sorry for the wait on literally everything but my life is such a mess rn i can’t even handle it. JUST WAIT bc one day I will have all of my college applications in and my hometown won’t be having protests and riots and i won’t be so DAMN stressed out all the time. I think that updates will be more frequent now- no promises- but HOPEFULLY. anyway thanks so much for reading ilysm


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